I was working with a young woman recently who was so stressed out at work she quit responding to her customers.
Just stopped returning emails and texts. Days of silence.
I felt horrible for her. To feel so overwhelmed that you can’t respond to your customers with a respectful response in which boundary lines are drawn and customers are reassured is a defeated place to find yourself.
Too often this happens to nurses as well, but of course, we can’t stop responding to our patients or supervisors.
We can, however, be proactive. And here’s how.
1. Set Clear Boundaries Between Work and Personal Life
Whether you work from home or go into the hospital or clinic, everyone needs boundaries drawn between their work and personal life.
The first step is clarifying expectations on both sides.
Your boss and your family should know exactly when you’re available to them and when you’re not. Call a household meeting or have a one-on-one with your boss if you have to ensure that everyone is on the same page.
Part of clarifying boundaries is building good self-care habits and routines on either side of the boundary line.
When you’re working a twelve-hour shift, be sure the boundary doesn’t slip by arriving and leaving on time and ensuring restful sleep before and after the shift. (See point #2 below for honoring self commitments).
While you’re marking boundaries between work and home, be sure to block out Do Not Disturb times for yourself. Even if it’s one hour per week, part of prioritizing yourself is scheduling time for yourself, the time you commit to honoring.
The boundaries you set should benefit you. It is your life after all.
2. Honor Commitments to Yourself and Your Family
If you’re like most nurses, keeping commitments to your family is easy enough. But when it comes to staying committed to yourself, it’s not easy.
Commitments to yourself may include waking up earlier, walking daily, sticking up for yourself, eating better, or working fewer hours.
These are commitments you’ve made to yourself and no one else is going to do them for you.
We often don’t see commitments to ourselves are the most important ones to keep. But we should.
You probably already know that it’s okay to put yourself first. So that’s not what is holding you back from honoring those commitments to yourself.
Therefore, it’s worth taking the time to reflect on why you aren’t always able to keep those commitments you make to yourself.
Do you have self-beliefs that are limiting you? Like believing you’re not worthy enough or thinking there’s always someone more important than you to take care of?
The reality of it is this: honoring your own desires and goals is the only way you’ll get where you want to be and become who want to be.
3. Engage in Activities You Enjoy That Are Not Nursing-Related
Remember that Do Not Disturb time you blocked out when drawing boundaries between work and personal life? Here’s where it fits.
It doesn’t matter the activity as long as you enjoy it.
Maybe it hiking or biking, maybe it’s shopping or thrifting, maybe it’s reading or movie watching. Doesn’t matter. Do it.
If your idea of relaxing is volunteering for the school board or taking a painting class. Do it.
As long as it is not related to nursing and you love it, then do it.
Making sure that your life is about more than your career ensures that your life–ultimately–is about YOU.
Take time right now to set boundaries, identify and honor self commitments, and to enjoy activities that energize you.
Everyone’s life should be about themselves, not anyone else. That doesn’t mean we’re all selfish people, it means we have to put ourselves first or we’ll have nothing left to give to others.
